Thursday, 22 February 2007

Nutcase joins Nutcase Club

The Daily Mail reports that Michael "Not Guilty" Jackson is planning to convert to Islam.

Now, why would Wacko Jacko want to join a religion founded by a deranged paedophile with delusions of grandeur?

Answers on a postcard, please.

I actually quite like Jacko's music, and have even been known to attempt moonwalking when Billie Jean is played, usually after having a few too many drinks. But it is plain for all to see that the man is completely mad. I think that's why he was befriended by Uri Geller - Jackson is the only human being on earth by comparison with whom Geller is sane. Other than, perhaps, Polly Toynbee.

There are certainly more sinister sides to his character, as well. Without referring to certain court cases, it appears that he has, having previously flirted with Judaism, become a raging anti-semite. Which gives him something else in common with the Mohammedans.

It's quite sad to watch a talented person going completely mad in public over a twenty year period. But, now that it's happened, the Muslims are welcome to him.


boom! boom! said...

Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: Have you started beating your wife?

Q How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they prefer to sit in the dark and blame it on the Jews.

Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.

Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
Neither did I.

Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Q How can you recognise a well-balanced Muslim?
A He's got chips on both shoulders.

Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.

Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy Britain?
A. None, Tony B.Liar can do it all by himself, thank you.

Q: What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing! You told her twice already!

Q: What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A: Lefty!

Q: What's the difference between Dar al-Islam and a pot of bio-yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.

Q: What do you call a drunk Muslim?
A: Hamed.
Q: What do you call a very drunk Muslim?
A: Mohammed.

Q: What has long blonde hair, huge tits, and is currently living in a cave in Greenland?
A: Salman Rushdie.

Nine year old Aisha and her kid brother Ahmed are talking about Mohammed. Aisha said "Last night Uncle Mo came to me and told me I had the gates of paradise between my legs and he had the key between his"
"That's funny" Ahmed replied. "For the last two years he's been telling me it's Gabriel's trumpet and I've got to learn how to play it"

Guy goes into sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll. Assistant asks him whether he wants a Christian one or a Muslim one. Customer asks what's the difference. Assistant explains that you need a pump for the Christian doll, but the Muslim one blows itself up.

Fulham Reactionary said...

My own Islam joke, a variation on one of yours:

Q. How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. All of them. One to hold the lightbulb in place, and the rest to demand that the world revolve around them.