Do you speak Hinglish?

Hinglish, apparently, is a fusion of Hindi (or, as the Daily Mail erroneously has it, "Hindu") and English. I believe that it is what certain gangs of Indian "rude boys" commonly speak. And, according to the left-wing think tank, Demos, everyone else should speak it too.

Demos feels that English - proper English - is too old-fashioned, and that Britain will become marginalised if we don't all start emulating the linguistic stylings of Leicester Asian street gangs at the earliest possible opportunity. Accordingly, their plan is to introduce Hinglish (and Chinglish - Chinese mixed with English) into the school curriculum as part of the English Language course.

Quite what the result of this would be I cannot be sure. But it appears probable that this would be another nail in the coffin of native British culture. Just as major British cultural figures such as Byron and Trollope have been dropped from the curriculum to make way for the comedienne Meera Syal - all in the name of diversity and multiculturalism - so too the time available for the study of real English, and of works of literature and poetry written in real English, would be reduced to allow time for the study of Hinglish, and works written in that dialect. This measure would, I believe, succeed in producing a generation of British schoolchildren still more ignorant of their own proud literary heritage than people are today. For a start, it might well be that the writings of the likes of Shakespeare and Dickens would simply appear incomprehensible to young people who had spent a substantial portion of their time studying Hinglish. These young people would then be more willing to believe the lies about the emptiness of British culture, and the benefits of multiculturalism. Which would, no doubt, suit the purposes of the likes of Demos.